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tv   Red Eye  FOX News  September 7, 2011 12:00am-1:00am PDT

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we humans don't participate in dog sports. >> he has a low center of gravity. >> look at that. >> let me show you one thing, that dog is a lot smarter than a lot of surfers i've met. >> that is buddy. he is a good boy. thanks for watching. >> good boy. ♪ ♪ well tom to "red eye." i'm greg gutfeld, chairman and ceo of greg and company and chair maker of the house humbler which con tises of a robe and towel. now to andy levy for a pre game report. what's coming up on tonight's show? >> let's take these sons of
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bitches out because james hoffa is not backing down from his full party rhetoric. and are americans the coolest people in the world? according to a survey from a social networking site, we are. and surveys from social networking sites are never wrong. and finally, the green day singer is booted off a plane because his pants were too saggy. the shocking story of an american idiot. greg? >> thank you, andy. >> happy fight across the nation day. >> i will start tomorrow. >> i will tweet it later and create chuckles. >> maybe you should talk about yesterday was fight for procrastination day and you are just geting to it now. >> that seems uncalled for, greg. >> i guess when it comes to being mean, you are not much of a procrastinator. >> and maybe when it comes to finishing my jar of peanut buter and jelly spread, neither are you. >> that was yours?
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>> it had been in the frige for months. >> goober was his favorite brand. >> it is weird how he was just gone one day. >> that was scott. he was like the wind. one minute he was blowing, and the next minute he wasn't. i would like to think he was somewhere watching. >> i would like to think that too, but the missing tart always makes me wonder. >> i am so silly sometimes with my crazy notions. have a great show. >> you too, my friend. >> let's welcome our guests. she is so hot she makes every bath a steam bath. i am here with jedediah. the untold story of my house boy island. she is so slick that bo fan you gnaw peels slick on him. it is john devore. and he spent his holiday passed around a cell block as an hor'dourve tray.
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and he is the funniest most insightful comedian. but he turned us down. >> sons of bitches. >> and you want to pull the flog -- plug on this nasty slug. >> pull the plug, ey 1234* i am the largest circle with 1.4. i did what you want, men lie, women lie, numbers don't. ain't knob changed for me except the year it is. i think i need to send uh reminder, here it is. reminder hu. reminder. i think i have to send you a reminder huh. reminder, huh. reminder huh. i think i better give uh reminder huh. >> so let me get this straight. the longer our pre games go, the longer you are going to go. >> there is nothing straight about you. carry on. should obama skew him?
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the white house is declining to comment after james hoffa railed against the tea party while warming up the crowd after the lande -- labor day speech in detroit, michigan. here we go again. sorry. >> everybody here has to vote. if we keep the eye on the prize let's take these soften a bitches back and give mark back to where we belong. thank you, america. thank you, thank you, thank you! >> the whole crowd. >> haven't seen that enough. the tea party express which is the chinese restaurant in baltimore has called on the president to, quote, condemn this inappropriate and uncivil rhetoric saying it has no place in the public for result of the president has called for a more political discourse. shouldn't he be appalled? and what about in 2008 when mccain, john that is, apologized for bill
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cunningham's reference to barack hussein obama. jake taper went there on tuesday. >> some of us covered the campaign and recall a time when somebody made harsh comments about then senator obama while during the introduction of a mccain rally, and the obama campaign was offended and expected an apology and senator mccain came out and did so. >> mr. hoffa speaks for himself. >> whatever. we weren't even listening. for more let's go to the red eye senior political corresponder. >> he has his facts. >> that's why he will never have an office job. >> they are adorable, but they can't run office products. jedediah, were hoffa's
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comments a call for violence? >> it was clearly a call for violence. i think president obama -- i know i am revealing all of the -- all of the major insight you didn't catch. i think president obama needs to say something about this. he is the guy who has been out there calling for a new tone. he has been calling for saville tee. you can't call for saw elect tiff saville tee. you want people to be civil or you don't. their excuse is ridiculous. president obama wasn't saying it. this guy was speaking for himself, but why aren't you calling it out? bad language is bad language. >> who is surprised by what a hoffa says? do we not know the family? first of all, it is like being surprised by what john gotti, junior says. how dare he? stop it. >> it is a good point. it further cements the reputation that union
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organizers are intimidating thugs. am i right, mr. devore? >> right. well we are all settling down to our own stereo types. on the left we think of the tea party as raging red necks who wear guns to town hall meetings. >> and rasist. -- racist. and the union teamsters are just acting like thugs. >> who are also at times racist. everybody is a little racist. >> everybody has to live up to their worst stereo type. >> if you would have asked the same thing about the detroit lions football team he would have said, we have to go to war this year. >> greg, think about this. if this had happened at a tea party rally, what do you think the media reaction would have been? if you had somebody at a tea party rally clearly calling for violence against the
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opposition, don't you think the media would have been jumping on that? >> let's not forget the red necks with guns, do you remember the guy who wore a gun at the rally and they croped him so you couldn't tell he was black? that was all over the place. the media plays it differently. bill? >> it wasn't even a rally. it was a wootang contest. >> they went back farther and they were in an ikea. pull back farther and they were in germany. home of world war ii. >> i didn't know that. >> come here for the history. >> bill, if he hadn't cursed would we be talking about this? >> no, but we wouldn't have the topic for a block. >> a story i was also able to use on "the five." >> it is called recycling. you are an echo warrior. if it was a tea party rally it
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would be the original hoffa. i would also say hoffa being hoffa, what do expect? a little in in the middle but you got much back. they are not gonna get that kind of material. >> when a kennedy sounds like a kennedy, it is all good. when a hoffa sounds like a hoffa, that's it. >> they want an angry left and an angry right. it is warfare. it is easy and simple story to write. >> i have an angry middle. >> but you win with it. that's what counts. >> have i to go with jedediah because i agree with her. if you initiate the idea, what happens is you actually expose your long history of incivility. it will change the ground rules if you will and there is a sports metaphor i know nothing about. they are sickening the -- thickening the plot and
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stealing his jackpot. they are accused of swindling an illegal immigrant. you find that funny. they were found guilty of win deling -- swindling an i'm immigrant on a lottery and now you act like that. if he did try to claim. it the poor guy would be deported. the suspects are obviously irish and convinced the guy to include them as co purchasers after he bought them in spring valley, new york. but sthene they -- then they cut the poor sap out of the deal. the con men have been arrested and they will receive install ment's of prize money with the d.a. noting that even though the man is an undocumented immigrant he will get his winnings. meanwhile at the al paca farm.
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>> everybody at the table was paying attention to the al paca. they were mesmerized by the fact the nails were painted pink. >> is that a mani or a pedi? >> he has a full hoofi. >> if he is an illegal immigrant like you, should he get to keep the 3 million? >> i am from canada. first of all, he should have known better. america will not deport anyone with $3 million. he wants the tax money. >> that's true. >> he is not going to get the tax money. >> that's a tremendous point. this is what i don't understand about lotteries. you win the lottery and then you immediately have to give part back.
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you have to give tax money. why? >> why? >> why do you win the money and the government still takes money from it when they could just say instead of giving me $20 million give me $10 million. >> it is win-win. you can get a lump sum with a different tax rate or a different tax rate if they give you the money stretched out over 10 years or so. >> that's a stupid answer. >> it is double dipping jie. they are win winning. >> they are stealing your money. >> i love lotteries. i have said this before. it is a voluntary tax. >> this winner speaks limited english and now he is wealthier than you. that has to upset you. >> he is living the american dream, god bless him. i was surprised that the law says he can collect that money. i was surprised an illegal immigrant can buy a lottery ticket and get the money. >> if you can get a driver's
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license why do you win your lottery? >> you can be an illegal worker and still pay taxes. >> isn't this a sign that these guy names, the fact they swindled these guys doesn't it mean they have assimilated 1234*. >> the only person not going to jail is the illegal immigrant. >> it is to a certain extent because they stole all of the money. >> you are absolutely right. he would have happily taken $50,000. >> vaw contacted the lot -- have you contacted the lotto winner?
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>> no i had a cousin who actually was a prince. i contacted him as well. he is in a position to win a lot more money, greg. vee -- via undisclosed immigrants. >> the e-mail is poorly misspelled. >> i have to say even though if you were going to make the made for tv movie everybody would root for him. >> all illegal immigrants are not drug mules. >> they are not breaking the law. >> there are generations of americans who broke the law. >> i am not moving a lot. i can tell you that right now. >> from wining a prize to a survey that is wise. >> while our economy dips we are still hips. so what country rules when it comes to being cool. when it comes to a new web survey, the answer is canada.
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just kidding. it is the usa. they asked people in 15 countries to choose the coolest nationalities. you brazilians came in second. hope they met the people. it is fold by the spanish and the italians and the french. america boasts the world's coolest man in technology. the man who even made geeks cool. the marketing sure is stupid. so who are the least cool? the belgians. they are actually dauphins. now one of the main reasons america is so cool. mr. billy zane.
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>> why? >> i rest my case. >> despite what you and your fellow liberal commi pink owes think there is something special about america. >> it is, and in texas right now they are trying to deep fry gum. >> that is what is going to win over the world. when you do this survey -- run with me. stay behind me is the world like one high school and america is captain of the football team? >> not only that, but yes. first of all, yes. the world is a big high school. from all of the black people in america, i like to say you are welcome white people in america for making you cool. i read that all black people and steve jobs. we are the reason this country is cool. >> and jobs is syrian, isn't he? >> he is a nerd. he makes cool things, but he is not a cool person. you don't want to go party with steve jobs. >> i do. >> i would take my iphone to a
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party before i take him. >> jedediah, should we care about being cool? isn't it better to be feared? >> you know what is funny about this is a lot of people think when i go to europe everybody hates america. that is the country everybody is trying to get into and not leave. it is safe to say -- and why is belgium -- has people never had belgian waffles before? >> it is a natural. >> you people disgust me. usa! >> now obama will have to admit that we are an exceptional country. >> belgium nerds. >> we are so cool. >> but here is the thing. we are cool because of our pop culture, but not cool because we protect the free m do's of the free -- the freedoms of
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the free country. >> we have 7,000 tactile nuclear weapons. >> what if they were not tactile. what if they were tack tile. >> i was surprised canada beat anybody out on the list. canada is like the dork of the world, right? does president everybody make fun of canada? >> i am a big fan. >> follow me on this, canada invented flannel and lesbians are cool. >> coming up, are white people the root of all evil and then some? we discuss sherrod small's new book. yes, white people are the root of all evil and then some. >> is there life after tiger woods? sadly yes.
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so sais we watchal kayla lose, does it mean no shoes? victory for people who don't like bending over to tie laces, ie fat people. says the womanly warrior, quote, we are moving toward an intelligence and risk-based approach to how we screen. i think one of the first things you will see over time is the ability to keep your shoes on. wynn of the last things you will see is a reduction of liquids. many of these conveniences is better and better technology. and of course security checkpoint manned by these.
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>> that looks great. try and pass one of those. sherrod, as someone who smuggles drugs in footwear, it must be a relief. >> it is a relief. but i keep my weed in my socks. #*eu put it in my sock scpiz usually wear old socks, dirty socks. the security never wants to check them with the dirty socks. >> another smart move is announcing this on late night -- >> nobody watches this show. >> believe it or not tsa security does because they are up all night. >> they are watching late night paris hilton shows. >> jed daw dye jaw, they say intelligence and risk-based approach. isn't she meaning profiling, but doesn't want to say it? >> they will be groping me and grandma, but i don't think
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they will do anything. cute feet are hard to come by, and i don't need to see nasty feet before i go on vacation, so i am all for it. >> groping jedediah on saturday will be excellent. >> my grandma is hot. she is 97 and smokin hot. >> have you grotesque looking feet. do you applaud this return to normalcy? >> i like that part of -- you do? >> you can scrunch wore nose. -- your nose. >> it is the thumb. >> i applaud this and i hope we are continuing our march toward behavioral profiling. >> i do too. bill, does this mean you will start wearing footwear to the airport? >> no. but here is the thing. everybody is celebrating this and it is going to make nary a
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difference. >> if they change it, that is something. you have your shoe oofs and you go through the line .'s then when you put your shoes on people go past you. it won't make any difference whatsoever. >> here is the thing. inexperienced drivers are the ones who take the toll. they say to take off your shoes in six different languages. >> the worst part is the bench when you have to put your shoes back on. >> you are there puting on your shoes. >> you know i am not calling you back and talking to you again. >> the problem is that's when you are most likely to lose something. >> i said this before and i probably stole this idea from somebody is, two lines for frequent travelers and nonfrequent travelers.
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>> and terrorists, three lines. >> experienced travelers, novices and terrorists. the terrorists go in that line and you arrest them jie. and they will all voluntarily walk. >> the water people are in on it. >> the three ounce bottling association. >> all right, do you have a comment on the show? e-mail us at red eye at fox news .com. call 212-462-5050. still to come, ite half time report from andy levy. he should be confiscated. >> those people who travel by foot especially in areas with cars. thanks, pedestrians.
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welcome back. let's find out if we got anything wrong? hope you had a great weekend, andy. >> i did, greg, did you? >> i had a lovely one. >> okay. support the tea party movement and help scott brown win his election and kristine o'donnell and joe miller win their primaries.
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he is sponsoring a gop debate next monday. >> where was that place we went to in baltimore? >> that wasn't a restaurant. >> remember we went to that one place and i was expecting a panda? >> yes. >> it is in the title. >> yes. >> that. >> jedediah, you were joking when you said you thought hoffa's comments were outrageous. >> no i thought it was outrageous. >> seriously? do you think sarah palin was outrageous? >> that is an outrageous comparison and you know that. >> you are outraged again. >> you know, what i am outraged all night tonight.
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>> it is absolutely no difference. targeting people -- it is all ridiculous. >> those are cross hairs on maps all the time. for years, democrats, republicans, no comparison there. >> unbelieve believe a. >> you are unbelievable. >> come on. >> come on. >> keep this up. >> it is just -- well. >> you said hof fa's comments -- hoffa's comments further support union leaders. >> i was waiting for somebody to catch that. >> john, well, that's what they said. john, i agree with you. >> it is a tiny binary narrative. >> i think there was a gift i am told. >> greg, you said the victim
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will receive the prize money which is what the article in the daily mail says, but i don't know if that is true. i would think the money would be frozen pending the trial, right? >> that is a question for the reporters and not for me. it is something that has nothing to do with me, but bringing it here to this table, we are having a good time. >> i feel bad now. do you want to start over? >> yes. welcome back. >> hey. did you have a good week -- weekend? >> i had a great weekend. >> sherrod, you said america will not deport anyone with $3 million. well, the guy who bought the ticket has applied for what is called a you visa which can be granted to illegal immigrants who are victim to certain crimes. an immigrant said a u visa gets temporary status and work
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eligibility for four years. >> you have to give him a little money. compromise means you have to splash him. i will get deported before him. i'm broke. >> and also those things you write are horrible. >> don't read my blog. >> greg, you can't understand why the government taxes lottery winners and wonder why instead of having a lottery worth 20 million and why not have the lottery with 10 million. high guess is people say it is worth $20 million. you don't think i am getting half of that. you think, oh i am getting 20 manage. - $20 million. >> when you see the price of gas is $8.99. you don't think it is $9. >> it tricked me many times and i don't even own a car. i will go up there and take the nozzle and put it in my mouth. >> next thing you know you are out nine bucks.
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>> but you got a good buzz. >> jedediah obviously granted he is breaking the law, but he is a victim of a crime whether illegal or not. >> i agree. i have a problem with lawlessness. i can't help myself. >> what if an illegal immigrant geese -- goes to jail. >> i can't stand people getting away with breaking the law. it bugs me. i'm sorry. >> i'm outraged, andy. >> slavery was breaking the law. >> i was going to make a joke, but then thought maybe not. i let it go. >> breaking the law is a necessary sort of thing. >> you can't compare that to illegal immigration. we are not enslaving illegal immigrant.
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>> they are trying to free themselves from being home and being in slavery. >> such a dark part of our history. what am i shameful? awful? it was a shameful part of world series. >> canada is off the hook on that. >> which gets into americans are cool. bill, you said the canadians won. they were ranked fourth least cool behind the turks and the germans. >> i am a quarter turkish. >> it is hard to be hip when you are from turkey. >> they wear tight jeans, the dudes over there. >> i am a fan of the empire. >> i am a fan of the ottoman. >> and greg belgians are not dauphins they are a made up race of people that jr had in his books.
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>> i apologize. sometimes i get confused. >> sherrod, i would like to point out that i originally wrote this story and the question was go ahead and tell us how americans are cool because of black people. >> you read the list. >> of course: >> diva is not on there. >> and he's canadian. >> all those black people and fonzi was not on there. >> yes, fonzi. that's fonzi and steve jobs was different. fonzi was cool because he was the fonz. >> and i got the sense from reading from article that if the examples are snoop and jay, have they just hit europe? is europe just getting hip to snoop now? >> no, snoop dogg is the biggest rap star in the world. he really s. you go to africa and they don't have radios. they go snoop dogg?
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>> after tonight's opener pinch will be the coolest paper. >> we may not have to i can off our shoes at airport security. it may be a big deal to people who don't want to bend over and tie their laces, ie fat people. it is some people who don't want to bebd over 2 inches. >> like a smurf. >> exactly like a splore of. >> i am a tree elf. >> i apologize for not know you are a tree cul -- a tree elf. >> have you ever seen him scamper up a maple. it is unholy. >> do you make the cookies? >> i don't scramble, i scrap pell. if i feel threatened i will deaf pho indicate on you. that's what a tree elf will
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do. >> that wasn't a tree by the way. it is a bunk bed. >> shaw -- sherrod, thanks for teaching the teens out there how to get their weed on board. >> where do you think i got it from? that was the worst more you know ever. or the best. >> lastly, greg, if you could say, "before we go down sick lane -- and then change the subject. if you can say it before bill says call me, nana, that would be great. >> i am in the book, nana. >> bye, eddie. coming up, david shaw whimer is dead -- tired of people asking him about the incident in cape may. it was an accident and he apologized to the family. what's up with the lead singer of green day? more like what's down? ie his pants. what a jerk.
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is rachel going to hell? if that's the name of a club, why not 1234* she loves to party. -- she loves to party. tiger's ex-wife is in the news for saying something stupid. accord together new york post, page 6 she mused, quote, i believe andy was meant to die because he was too good. i am almost happy it ended the way it did because i have learned so many lessons from him. it would have been tragic if we got in a fight and then divorced. and if owe grady had lived you could tell allegedly concluded, quote, i would be a fat housewife with three kids living in sands point, long island. well, he died and you are slim so, that's a tradeoff. monday you can tell tmz that
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not only was she misquoted, but the quotes were taken severely out of context. i don't know how you could be miss -- misquoted and taken out of context. the post says it stands by its story. clearly we must discuss this in our lightning roooouuuund. lightning round. >> that was cute. >> is she trying to save face after being so awful? or could the post have made up something so precise and specific? >> i don't see how that rant of hers could be taken out of context. she was talking about her fiancee, and she was obviously talking about what ifs. her name is in the paper now. >> i saw her on celebrity rehab, and she was vacuous. this did not seem out of
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character for her. >> this was the first time i felt sad. of course that's when they were dating. by feeding her all kinds of candies. she was a big fan of various pairs and whatnot. jedediah, do you think she said it? i don't think a reporter would make that up. >> i think it would be hard to make that up. even if she said stuff surrounding that, she said that. it is possible that maybe once she said it, oh no. she needs to save herself a little bit. >> but she needed this. this is like an album release for her. >> she mike be vac could you us with, but when she opens her mouth and says the stuff, she gets it in the newspaper and she gets more attention. she knows that on a reptilian level.
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>> you had something to do with writing things. is this report -- do you think this reporter played fast and loose? >> no, and this has happened to me a couple times through various interviews. i said very inappropriate questions. they will release the tapes and she will not be vindicated. i don't know why she brings up the 9/11 stuff, when they do they go back to the picture and it shows how much plastic surgery she had from then until now. she was doing a lot of things, and she wasn't saving face. >> and to say the owner of the post would do something as blasphemous as that, it is a mockery. >> i never heard of "news of the world". >> maybe are you right. maybe he was better off without her. >> and what happens when the tapes come out? what will she say? i was misquoted? >> if you are interviewing
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somebody at a party, they do it. >> look at the level of her narcissism. >> it is better he die. then i don't have to go through the trauma of source. -- of divorce. what universe is that? >> it is time to take a break, but there is more stuff when we return.
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welcome back to "red eye." shut up, everybody. green day singer said he was kicked off a southwest airlines flight for wearing saggy pants. the 39-year-old -- repeat 39-year-old armstrong did what any grown man would do, he pulled up his pants. of course he didn't. instead he tweeted about it saying, quote, just got kicked off a southwest flight because my pants saged too low. what the f. no joke. sherrod i go to you first to no reason whatsoever. at what age should a man realize saggy pants are stupid? >> a white man? >> yes. >> pretty early on. we just had this story a
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couple months ago with the black kid from arizona getting arrested and coming from a funeral on a plane. i would say this is vindication. i am glad to see the white dude getting the saint treatment. did he get charged with trespassing? >> no, they apologized to him when they found out who it was. >> that is the whiteness. >> thought our country was going to hell in a handbag. since he got special treatment, i'm okay with it. jedediah, this guy is almost 40, which is essentially like being almost 50, almost 60. he must realize -- >> almost 70. he is almost dead. doesn't he realize he is kind of a jackass. they are like old rockers who wear their long hair in a ponytail while going bald. >> i don't like saggy diapers. >> then don't go to my website. >> it depends on what kind of boxers he had. if they were cute, i can let it slide. ugly, i have to let it go.
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>> is his celebrity complaint via twitter over done? you see it a lot. this is what i hate, i am answering my own question. the people who tweet about driving incidents which means they must -- it must have happened like -- they go, like hey, buddy, way not to use your blinker. shut up. >> i don't know what the question was. >> people are empowered by complaining on twitter. yes. >> you teased the question out of that. i didn't even know where i was. sometimes that happens with the new medication i am on. >> right now i am on mount ole limb pus and i am a sigh clops. >> bill, you have been kicked off flights for losing your pants before takeoff. don't you get a warning 1234* didn't he get a warning and he blew it?
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>> it was warm and there are many of reasons. when did he start wearing baggie pants? billy joe has always worn pants so tight that they are often considering writing him telling him to consider the cucumber. what i am seeing is not something he should be advertising. he is a punk guy. they wear impossibly tight pants. >> and he is like 80 pounds. they are like kid jeans. >> you know what it could have been? a lot of these guys as their career winds down they do infomercials for various things like exercise machines and protein shakes. he was coming from a before and after shoot of a weight loss commercial. >> this is me when i made dookie, the album of course. >> southwest hates skinny people. >> and fat people. >> have i to defend southwest. they had i think 38 consecutive years of
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profitability and basically an industry that does president make any money. it is because they offer -- there is no frills and a fast turn around. >> and they beat their employees. >> i wanted to leave that out. >> sorry, southwest. we will close things out with a post game wrap up. to see clips of recent shows
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h i will see you back here at 5:00 p.m. eastern time for "the five." and coming up, return appearances from michael monohan and lori roth man and dr. lamont hill.
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sherrod with books. >> shouldd with books. it can make all the difference in the world. >> so, andy, it is the post game wrap up. >> what's that? >> it is the post game wrap up. >> are we on? >> yes. >> that's unfortunate. jedediah, do you have plans for the gop debate? >> yes, i am tweeting through the debate. calling it like i see it, looking forward to it. >> johnny, will you be tweeting through the debate? >> i will. while i drink a bottle of listerine. >> what is going on with rd lange? >> i went to the comic show, and it was great. the howard stern show. >> has he lost weight? >> h


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